I tend to alienate people. Okay, ‘alienate’ is probably the wrong word. The truth is: I tend to piss off people. I know it’s my fault, yet I still wish human interaction was easier for me.
Of course, part of it is that I’m an extreme introvert. People freak me out. Not friends. Friends and family are okay and of the former I have surprisingly many – considering my lack of social interaction. The strange part is that, as an observer, I understand people. Really, I do. Give me a minute of staring at you and I’ll figure out what drives you, what do you love and what do you fear. I’ll know how one needs to talk to you to manipulate you into doing anything. It’s as easy as x+y=z. Then, when I’m confident of my observation, I’ll approach you and suddenly the equation looks more like: x + the whiskers of a bald eagle x the blood of a jellyfish – the sum of every second since eternity was born.
This social ineptitude could have lead to me doubting myself and becoming the clichéd school geek without friends and an opinion of self that rivals that of the chick in the Twilight-saga. Nope. I’m severely opinionated and I will stand by it even when hell freezes over. My brother-in-law has the ability to diplomatically tell someone he’s being a complete moron. I, on the other hand, will probably just tell you I think you’re a moron. I’ll also – free of charge – include a complete explanation of why you’re being dumb and will probably suggest a few places where you can go look up the truth. As an example I would like to present The Case of the Lay-Buy Bitch.
In a previous post I mentioned my frustration with ‘lay-buy.’ Too often people get it wrong and we’re gifted with phrases like ‘lay-bye,’ ‘lay-by’ and once even ‘lay-bay.’ Still not kidding you about the last one. So when hubby and I walked past a shop with ‘lay-bye’ written in chalk on one of those standy-boards by the front door, I just couldn’t help but lean over and rub out the tail of the y in ‘bye.’ I know, it doesn’t solve the spelling, but somehow it made me feel better. I also loudly mentioned to hubby that at least it doesn’t say ‘lay-see you later’ anymore. I think the shop owner must have heard me, for a week later, when I passed by the shop, the sign has very definitely been changed to ‘lay-buy.’
Really, I get why people don’t like me. What I don’t get is why I have friends. In fact, my entire fandom consist out of 3 people (and in no particular order): hubby, Santie and Gog. Or Gog, hubby and Santie. Santie, Gog and hubby. And my mom, so it’s a fandom of 4. They’ll probably be the 4 people I’ll dedicate my first book to. In fact, Gog binge-read my blog the other night and promptly reminded me that the whole ‘screw it, let’s do it’ thing belongs to Richard Branson. Well, he made countless billions with that motto, so I feel I can’t go wrong by adding it to my life. Now I just need to work on my social skills!